Thrash Page 14

  “Stop worrying about one day. Just enjoy today. None of us knows what’s going to happen tomorrow,” I say and lean in. My beard brushes the side of her face as I trail soft kisses down from her temple to her jaw. She doesn’t move or sigh or do any of that girly shit that other chicks do when I make a move on them. No, not Nic. She just sits there and lets me do my thing, but she gives me nothing to go on.

  “That doesn’t work for me,” she says. “You’ve been through at least a hundred women. I’ve seen it. What makes this so different?” she asks in a tone that sounds so defeated and so fucking sad that it’s like a shovel to my abdomen.

  “You’re different,” I say. “You called me a cocksucker. Not that I advise you try it again, but you did it. You’re tough as hell, and you don’t even know it.” I don’t say the thing I want to say—that all of those women were really fucking easy, and really fucking stupid. They all like the idea of being an Old Lady, but none of them were cut out for it. It takes a special kind of woman to put up with the club and its members. Nic doesn’t know it yet, but she’s got it. She’s got that fire and that backbone that an Old Lady needs. She’s loyal and protective, and she can be mean as all fucking hell. Makes sense since she was raised in this life, but with all the shit she’s seen, she’s damaged as fuck. And the more fucked up I realize she is—the more broken she shows herself to be—the more I want to glue her back together.

  “But I’m not,” she says.

  But she is.

  Talking isn’t working out so well for me, so instead I decide to just move on. My bones ache with the need to be inside her. I need to show her in the only way I think she’ll understand that I care about her and I’m going to care about her in a few weeks, and a few months, and even years down the line. I’m going to show her that this is forever.

  I bring one hand up and cup her face. Her green eyes stare back at me and then close. I move in, pressing my lips against hers. She’s so fucking soft in a million ways, but not her bottom lip. She’s always chewing on the damn thing, and it shows with the bits of cracked skin on the sides. She responds, moving her lips against mine and pulling me in closer.

  Nic slides down the bed, letting me crawl on top of her and cover her body with my own. This feels right in a million fucking ways I can’t explain. She reaches down for my dick, but I bring her hand back up above her head. I want to take things slow with her, but if she starts pulling on my dick, shit’s gonna happen really fast. As it is, I’m not very used to going slow. Normally I’m all about getting my orgasm going as fast as I fucking can, but this isn’t about me. This is about showing Nic that she’s more than a good fuck. She’s everything.

  A few minutes pass of us kissing, so I start sliding my body up and down hers to create friction. My dick gets so hard I worry I’m gonna blow a load right here, and I’m not even inside her yet. It doesn’t matter that I had her twice this morning.

  Taking a few deep breaths, I force myself to calm down and be more patient. I want her to enjoy this in every way possible, and that’s not going to happen if I keep thinking about myself and my dick. She lets out a soft moan when I drag my dick over her pussy. She places a soft kiss on my forehead, and it’s so fucking sweet. I don’t think she can know what her being sweet does to me. Looking up and locking eyes with her, I place a gentle kiss on her lips and then pull back.

  “You don’t believe me, but I’m going to show you that this is different,” I whisper. Pulling her bottom lip in between her teeth, she nods and keeps her eyes focused on mine.

  The mood in the room shifts, and we’re moving impossibly slow. It’s like fucking torture when I take her night shirt off, inch by inch, kissing my way up her flat belly and then her tits, up her collarbone and then to her neck. But as hard as I am, I wouldn’t trade this moment for any fucking thing on the planet.

  No more clubhouse fucks. If I want to show Nic that I’m serious, I can’t be fucking her like she’s some whore in a bed I’ve taken countless women to. This right here is the way it should be, but it should be in our house, in the bed we share every night. And if I have my way, that’s how it’s going to be.

  Achingly slowly, I slide down her body and remove her panties, which are already damp. Diesel’s comment from earlier flies through my brain, and, for a brief moment, I’m fucked in the head. Thinking about Diesel licking her pussy just plain pisses me the fuck off. She’s just a piece of ass to him, and that ain’t right. Nic deserves better. She definitely deserves better than me, but I’m a selfish prick and I want to keep her for myself. Looking up at her, I see that she’s propped her head up so she can watch me between her legs.

  “I’m going to make you forget that anybody else has been here,” I say. Her eyes heat, her chest rises, and she sucks in a deep breath. I start by parting her legs. She bends her knees and lets her legs lean outward, giving me ample room. Her pussy is waxed as fuck—there’s not a hair in sight.

  My tongue sneaks out and drags itself up her slit. Her body jerks, and she shoves her pussy into my face. She’s a pushy girl, and I fucking love it. I place soft kisses on her outer lips then drag my tongue over her clit. Her entire body tenses when I wrap my lips around her clit and suck down on it. Her hands fly to my head and hold onto my hair as I change it up between sucking and licking. She mewls, and gasps, and even whimpers. I drag my index finger along her opening and look up just as I slide my finger into her hot, wet pussy. Her entire body covers in goose bumps, and a shiver runs up her spine. The sight is absolutely incredible. It’s like nothing I’ve ever seen before. She’s so fucking connected to everything I’m doing. Every touch, whether it’s feather light or rough, she responds like nothing I’ve ever seen, but maybe that’s because I’ve never been like this before. Nobody else was ever worth the effort but her.

  Her pussy contracts around my finger, and I pull out just enough to slide a second one in. She’s turning into a wild beast with the sounds she’s making and the way she’s holding onto my hair. She’s so close, too close, so I pull back and crawl up her body. She’s a panting, sweaty mess, and I love it. On my way up, I wrap my mouth around each one of her nipples, one after the other, and revel in the way she squirms beneath me. Reaching down, she gives my boxers a tug. I prop myself up on my arms and let her wiggle them down. When she gets them to my knees, I kick them off and lean back over her. She’s watching me with intent eyes as I use my elbow to keep my heavy frame from crushing her light one. My other hand drags itself up and down her side lightly.

  Slowly, I move up and rest my dick on top of her pussy. She wiggles beneath me, but I don’t give in to her just yet. Her hooded eyes peer up at mine, and she leans up, placing a kiss on the corner of my mouth. With my dick in my hand, I guide myself to her entrance and have to bite my tongue to keep from ramming into her. She’s so hot and tight and so fucking perfect. Her pussy fits my dick like a goddamn glove, and without a rubber, I can feel everything. Nope, definitely not going back to wrapping it. When I trust myself to move and not come like a fucking kid, I slide the rest of the way inside her hot, wet heat.

  I stare down at her, and she’s looking up at me, and nothing about this moment is wrong. She drags her hand down my back and cups my ass, and it’s all the incentive I need. I pull out a few inches and then slowly drag myself back in. Repeating the motion a few more times, I keep my weight off her by using my elbow and, with my other hand, I reach down and make slow, deliberate circles over her swollen clit. Her eyes flutter closed for a moment before she opens them again. When slow isn’t enough and she needs more, I pick up the pace and create a rhythm that makes me sweat. Small droplets fall onto her chest and face, but she just wipes them away, mingling them with her own sweat. I find myself grunting, getting closer, and before I know it, I’m fighting a losing battle against coming. It’s too soon, but my body doesn’t give a fuck what I think. Reaching up, Nic grabs my beard and smiles at me through flushed cheeks, and parted lips, and wide eyes.

  “Let go, Josh,”
she says, using my real name for the first time in years. That connection we’re creating is too fucking much, and my entire body gets hot—too fucking hot—and my eyes roll back in my head as I shove my dick as far as it can go into her beautiful fucking pussy and just let it go. I bring myself closer to her by bringing my arm underneath her and holding onto her shoulder so I don’t slide out before I want to and bury my face in her neck. Her body shivers with the contact, but it’s not what I want. I start making circles on her clit again. In a matter of moments, she’s all breathless and moaning into my ear. A half a second before she comes, she bites my ear and whispers, “Fuck yes.” Then she spirals into her own orgasm, body shivering and shaking, and hands clawing at my skin. All I can think is that I did this. I made this happen for her.

  And she used my real name.

  When we come down, I pull out slowly and kiss her neck. When I draw back, I realize she’s looking at me in horror. My stomach lurches, unsure what caused this sudden change of mood. Her eyes are focused on my softening dick, and it’s then that I realize what’s fucking her up.

  “I can get Plan B,” she says. She closes her eyes, curses to herself, and scrubs her face. “Shit.”

  “Aren’t you on the pill or something?” I ask, because as far as I know there’s kind of an understanding with the Lost Girls and they get their birth control in groups and shit.

  “Yeah,” she says flatly with her eyes diverted across the room. Riding bare is not something I’m gonna give up with her. She’s going to have to know that it’s different with us. She’s different. I’m different. It’s a new game plan and we’ll figure it out.

  “Okay,” I say. “You need money for that Plan B?” I ask. Her head shoots up, and she stares me down.

  “No,” she snaps and crawls out of bed and walks to the en-suite bathroom, stomping her little feet as she goes. “I can fix my own fuck-ups, but thanks.” Then she slams the door.

  I bite back the urge to tell her that she didn’t exactly say shit about me riding her bareback when it was happening, but I’m too goddamn tired to fight with her. I find my boxers on the floor, tug them on, and head to the hall bathroom to piss before I crash. After I do my business and walk back in the room, I retrieve my cell out from the pocket of my jeans and set it on the night table then plop down on the bed and breathe a sigh of relief when, a minute later, Nic comes out and picks her night shirt off of the ground, pulls it over her head and crawls into bed. She lays herself down on the complete opposite side of the large bed, but I’m not having that. She might be pissed at me right now, but that’s too damn bad. I snake an arm around her waist and pull her flush against my front.

  “We fuck together, we fight together, we eat together. That means we sleep together, too,” I say and nuzzle her neck as I get comfortable. She blows out a frustrated breath and settles in as I drift off to sleep. With my girl by my side, I sleep harder than I normally do, and for once I don’t wake up to every tiny noise around me. It’s fucking glorious, and she can be as pissed at me as she wants, because I’m getting used to this shit, and I’m not about to give it up now.

  Chapter 16

  Ruby looks over at me from the stove, where she’s got three glass dishes filled with chicken breasts and covered in barbecue sauce, ready to bake. Smirking, she turns back to her dish and shakes her head.

  “What?” I ask, but she’s not giving anything up. Standing near the kitchen table, I place my hands on my hips and just stare at her back. Damn woman is like my own mother, only she’s sober enough to actually cook a damn good chicken more often than not. That means she knows me better than anybody, including Trigger, and I’m being so fucking obvious that I should be embarrassed by it, but I can’t bring myself to give a fuck. Ruby’s been my mom more often than my own has in recent years, and there’s no fronting with her. Finally, she turns around, wipes her hands on her dish towel, and sets it down on the counter.

  “You’re hovering,” she says with a knowing look. “Take a seat and tell me what’s wrong.” I let out a sigh and pull out a kitchen chair, careful not to knock into anything with the rifle I have slung over my shoulder. She takes the seat next to me and pats my knee.

  “Trigger and Princess,” I say. It’s not exactly what I want to say, but it’s a good starting point. “What do you think of that?” She looks down at her hands then up at me. A few days ago she was pretty much forced to tell Princess that she’s her mom, and the fucking brat’s been avoiding her ever since. Sure, I get it’s awkward and all, but the woman needs her kid.

  “Doesn’t matter what I think. Neither of them will listen to me no matter what I got to say about it,” she says.

  “But you have an opinion,” I say. She nods and blows out a breath. Her eyes search the table top. When they find what she’s looking for, her features soften. She grabs the box and the lighter, pulls out a cigarette, lights one up, and takes a pull. She leans back in the chair and lets out a relieved sigh.

  “I try not to smoke these things when I’m cooking,” she says. I shove the ashtray at her, and she takes another pull then flicks the ashes in the tray and looks me in the eyes. Her brown hair has reddish tints to it, and her heart shaped face is dotted with a few wrinkles here and there, but over all she’s aged really well. More than half the club would totally fuck her if she gave them half a chance and Jim wouldn’t shoot their nuts off.

  “When I hooked up with Jim, I was in a bad place,” she says with a shake of her head. “I didn’t trust anybody, not even myself. I’d spent the last two years hopping around from city to city and club to club with Ian—poor kid, no wonder he’s so fucked up—just looking for something that made me feel whole. We made it out to Arizona from New York by that time, and it’d only been a few weeks that we were in town, but I knew we weren’t going to stay. The club down there was making a run up to Mendocino, and one of the guys let me tag along.”

  “He let you tag along?” I ask. Clubs don’t just let bitches with kids tag along on runs. She and I both know that. She shakes her head and gives me a devious smile and leans in.

  “Okay, I had to blow him a few times,” she says. “Tiniest fucking dick I’ve ever seen.” I throw my head back as laughter consumes me. She giggles and slaps my hand and takes a drag of her cigarette. “You tell Alex I said or did that and I’ll shoot you in your ass. Got it?”

  “Sure thing, Ma,” I say and smile as she keeps talking.

  “Anyway. We get up here, and back then Rage was president. You were probably too young, but he was a bastard even then. Jim wasn’t much better. But let me tell you something about the Stone men—they’re all alike. Rage was at least tolerable when Silvia was alive, but once she got cancer, that was it. The man took a one-way trip to Prickville and never came back. But anyway. Here I show up in town and get dropped off in the Forsaken Custom Cycle parking lot by the Arizona club, and I’m standing there. Ian, always the trooper, is holding my hand. The poor thing’s not even nine yet, and he already knows how this shit goes, ya know? God, I fucked that one up.” Wiping a stray tear from her eye, she finishes off her cigarette and rubs her hands together then reaches over and places her hand on top of mine.

  “So out comes this kid from behind the gates of the clubhouse. He’s got this jet black hair and big gray eyes and damn if he isn’t one of the cutest things I’ve ever seen. He runs up to me and Ian and looks me right in the eye like he’s some kind of man or something and says, ‘Lost Girls are supposed to be inside’. I figured out right away what that meant and was about to tell him I needed the president’s permission since I was from out of town, but then he just grabbed my hand and started dragging me past the gates. I thought for sure I was going to get in trouble, but then Jim came out and damn if he wasn’t sexy as hell.”

  “Jim does have a sweet ass,” I say with a smile and wiggle my eyebrows. She smirks and winks at me.

  “I’m telling you, the second he saw me he wouldn’t leave me alone. I worked at the clubhouse trying to kee
p everything clean—like that’s even possible—and the club paid me enough that I got me and Ian a small studio within walking distance of the clubhouse so I could get to work easily. Pretty soon I was watching Ryan and Ian as they’d play in the clubhouse while I worked. It was probably a bad environment for two little boys, but we do the best we can with what we have, ya know? So one night Jim gets me plastered and he gets me in bed. Now, at first I thought I was really becoming a Lost Girl. I wouldn’t have sex with him, but he wouldn’t let me have sex with anyone else, either. He was about to earn his VP patch, and he could throw a fit like nobody else I’d ever met—until Ryan—so nobody really argued with him. Besides, I was just some chick with a kid and a fucked up past. I had major baggage. From that night on, Jim was even more relentless. I made that man suffer for months before I finally caved and let him bring me home with him. And you know what? I ain’t ever left.”

  “That’s awesome, Ma, but what does it have to do with Trigger and Princess?” I say, a bit annoyed. Once Ruby gets to talking about her boys she never shuts up.

  “Do you think Jim wanted to be saddled with somebody’s else’s boy and a promise to always protect two more he’d likely never meet? Not if he had a choice, he wouldn’t have, I don’t think. But Forsaken men? You guys decide what you want and you’re all like fucking bulls in a china shop until you get it. But that’s because you’re a passionate group.”

  “Maybe we’re just assholes,” I say.

  “You’re definitely assholes, but you’ve also got really solid hearts. You guys are always fucking up, but you’re also always trying to make it right. So Ryan and Alex? They’re going to be just fine. That boy’s never cared this much about anyone else before. Even if he’s not good for her, she’s good for him, and he needs that.”